Alicia Mary Smith – firstname.lastname@example.org
(Date of Birth 6th April 1961)
February, 2018 – Valle de Bravo, Mexico
This testimony regards the actions of a public figure – Vikas Sharma aka Padma Aon Prakasha, an author and publicly described ‘spiritual’ teacher.
My birth name is Alison Mary Smith, but during the time I was connected with Padma, I was known as Andara. (I have been known by many names from childhood and in different cultures. Ali, Alix, Alice, Alicia, Alixousha, Alixaki…)
I’m writing this testimonial of my experience in Padma’s presence, as clearly as I recall, with a small degree of expanded awareness and as truthfully as I am able to, given my current soul condition and limited perception. I am now aware that it was my own addictive façade, denial and pain that drew me into this journey of light and dark.
My experience of Padma’s work was:
In person: January 2008, Hawaii – Informally, January 2008, Hawaii – ‘Womb of the World’ event, February/March 2008, Egypt – ‘Tantra of Light’ tour.
From a distance: March/April 2008, Israel – personal travels
Through a teacher: September 2008, Ireland – ‘The Power of Shakti’
Books: The Christ Blueprint, The Power of Shakti, The Nine Eyes of Light.
I was first introduced to Padma’s work in the latter part of 2007, while visiting a friend in Hawaii.
Stories of his teachings were compelling and my seeking heart saw an opportunity to grow. I considered myself a new age light-worker, thinking Padma’s guidance and disciplines would develop my spiritual evolution. I was unaware of multiple addictions and wounds, attracting me into what seemed to be a powerful potentiality.
My first encounters with Padma were initially informal. As a consequence of my own addictive needs, my attraction to him was as an awakened brother and as a firm, but caring father. Unlike some others and no doubt due to my personal relationship issues, Padma never had an erotic allure for me and he never made sexual advances.
Prior to attending the ‘Womb of the World’ in Hawaii (January 2008), Padma invited me to have a private healing, to prepare me for the event.
I share this story, as an illustration of similar experiences with him. During this session, Padma asked many questions, some shockingly intimate, others appearing to simply get to know me, which I now realise helped him sense exactly where my weaknesses lay. For example, after I told him of my aversion to my parents smoking, he purposefully blew cigarette smoke into my face and I believed his assurances, that it would aid me in overcoming my judgemental disgust and bronchial weakness – assist it may, but it was one of the first signs of feeling cruelly abused.
More harsh words and belittling were followed by what appeared to be a trance like state and then a sudden switch to tenderness and empathy for the ‘past life I had endured as a princess of the Sinai’ (Egypt). He told me that this experience had been blocking me from my true potential, all my life and only he could help me to ‘remove the four locks placed upon the gateways of my womb’. I was given weekly disciplinary breathing meditations to undertake, while his ‘role’ would be to ‘face the powerful priests who had placed these limitation upon me’. The change from callousness to softness was acute, the unfolding story hooked me into his clutches and I felt a compulsion for his ‘help and support’.
An inkling in me said something was amiss, but I didn’t have the strength of will to repudiate this man, who seemed to genuinely care and captured my need to feel special and loved. But, by the ‘fourth lock’, I’d had enough. I was outraged with myself and with him. I felt wounds of past or inherited abuse and shame that I was allowing this man to enter me (etherically) without a true desire and heartfelt love. I felt angry and rebellious and although I didn’t dare tell him verbally, I refused to have him remove the final lock. If there was something to be expunged, I had to do it myself.
During the Womb of the World gathering, although I felt inspired by the ‘knowledge’ spoken, I often felt a fatigue overcome me and a pressure to participate in the tantric practices, rather than an authentic desire. I recall discussing these feelings, which a pulsing partner mutually described, but I felt if I didn’t engage, I would ‘miss out’.
These words ‘miss out’, were repeated to me often throughout my experience with Padma. Sometimes I stood firm and walked away, other times I succumbed to needing to feel special, loved and supported. Frequently I felt him endeavouring to ‘infiltrate’ me and use me, especially when I was in Israel. Occasionally I beamed with honour and at other times I felt violated. It was a ‘push me, pull you’ of light and dark playing out within my own being and reflected in these connections with Padma.
I recognised later that my guides were doing their best to encourage me in a different direction and I would feel their blessings but there were also times I sensed I was part of a group of angry women who wished to rebel against what I felt was arrogant and abusive behaviour. Finally it was enough and I cut ties and extinguished all information from Padma, at the beginning of 2009.
Looking back, I realise that the journey was perfect and no doubt expedited my discovery and desire to become a student of Divine Truth and build a personal relationship with God. Step by step – Donde hay un Sueño, hay un Camino (where there’s a dream, there’s a way).
Thank you for reading and listening. I pray that my minimal sharing will pave the way for another on their own journey.